How can i help my boyfriend to stop masturbating and watching porn?

micaela1

Hi, I´m a Christian girl from latin america and I have a boyfriend who I
met in church 4 years ago, we had been together for 2 years now and I
just discover that my boyfriend watch porn, I feet so bad about it and
I had being telling him that he should stop and that is not right to
do that, I don´t wanna leave him because I love him and I wanna get
marry with him, but I know that he needs to heal that problem first,
things had been really bad with him lately he doesn´t want to go to
church, he said that he loves God but he doesn't know how to stop
masturbating and watching porn, he doesn´t wanna talk with any of our
pastors or people in church and I seriously don´t know what to do
anymore, I´d being trying to help him, but honestly I don´t know how
to do that anymore, the other day he told me that he loves me but he
doesn´t wanna hurt me and that he doesn´t know if he wants to get
marry with me or not... I love him so much but this is hurting me too,
and if he doesn´t wanna be with me anymore I feel that if I left him
he will get worst, so I will appreciate all your help. I don´t know
what to do anymore... How can i help my boyfriend to stop masturbating
and watching porn?

please pray for my boyfriend.

superanonymouse

I don't think it's your place. It's between him and God.

eastcoast

It's very sweet of you to care about him and request prayer on his behalf.

Don't marry him unless he is certain and you are persuaded that he is NOT a porn addict.

Why not give him the links to this site, X3watch, X3Pure, and other similar websites that help people in recovery? There are lists of links on the Get Help resource pages, too.

@superanonymouse has a point, that your boyfriend has to do this for himself and God, not just for you, though that would be a great reason as well, unfortunately, his desire to please you probably won't be enough by itself to get him to change. Perhaps one of these websites will help:

http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/porn-addiction-recovery-course/

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/courses/way-of-purity/

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

http://mychainsaregone.org

MT of X3

I disagree that you can't help him. But I also agree that it is between him and God.
Your boyfriend has to decide for himself IF he wants to stop this behavior. Until he lands there in his heart all external attempts are futile.

I think the BIGGEST form of help you can give is to go to God yourself. There is power in prayer. You can pray for him while asking God what the next steps are for YOU because you cannot control or manipulate your boyfriend into walking in purity.

eastcoast gave some resources for your boyfriend- here is one for you: http://www.PartnersForPurity.com

God bless you dear one.

Miracle Man

There are some things you can do to help, first, drop the no masturbation- don't focus on the thing which may or may not be clear cut- focus on that which without certainty clear cut- the porn watching.

Second, you can ask him questions, you might want to spend sometime on how to word your questions, because they maybe difficult questions, I am not trying to imply anything about your English here, it's just that, they are necessary questions and they may need a certain time or place or delicate way of being said. You can ask him things like 'Are you unwilling to talk to pastors etc because you feel ashamed/ that they will judge you/ have they done that already/before? Do you feel like they cannot help you or that they are not serving you...?' say, perhaps there was an insident in his past, this can help both of you, it helps him know he can trust you, it helps you begin to understand, and it allows passage of details that will allow you both to work this out and to find help which you can run through the check list of his reservations about speaking to others about it.

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