Guilt and persistent self loathing doesn't seem to be working for you. You don't need to try harder at what you are doing you need to make a change not in your behavior but in your mindset. Relax give yourself a break and try to figure out what is really driving you to unwanted behavior. It might help to talk to someone who has helped others with the same problem. There are times in all our lives when we realize something has to change. Find something you can do that makes you like yourself and do more of that. Also in my life I find that I get wrapped up in myself and it helps me to find someone I can help who I know will not pay me back. The important thing is when you realize you don't like who you are becoming choose a new path to a new destination. Don't focus on your weakness step back and see yourself as a whole and put your effort in getting to be what you believe you should be.

Do not focus on the problem as much as on the solution, it could be as simple as changing routine, helping another person like at a homeless shelter or feeding scheme or reading to the elderly, there are many things, this should help get your focus off of yourself. For me focussing on God helped me, keeping the cross central was what brought me out of the cycle or thinking I wasn't worthy of being loved by God, but I lost much more before I realized. I pray that your journey be a short one and that you may see the important things of life soon, and start living a great life. He is faithful to forgive you need to accept it completely, accept that He loves you, there is a purpose even to this so learn from it and move forward looking into the Light.

God is Almighty

Wow, @7seeker and @paulg1, your comments really hit me. That's what I needed to hear as well.

@Amy_Bunch, continue to pray to God. Try this, perhaps:

"God, I don't know why I'm this way. God, I don't know why I can't overcome this so easily. God, I don't know why I hate myself while you love me. God, I don't know how to love myself. But God, I know for sure that whatever happens to me, whatever I feel, I will be victorious in You. I know that after this battle, I will get to know You so much more than I did when the battle started."

Joyce Meyer taught me this way of thinking. It is uplifting to say to yourself, and I believe that God loves it.

Thank you for coming forward with your worry, Amy. It takes a lot of courage. Just remember that you are always loved, whether it's by us or by God (times infinity).

Follow what the two members above said. :)