Same Sex Attraction Prayer Request

sophia

A very good friend of mine is struggling with SSA. To give you a bit of background information: He's been raised in a very strong Christian home his entire life, he attends church regularly, has a very strong relationship with God, has been attending an amazing youth group for his entire middle and high school career(he still attends: 12th grade), he has very good, close friendships with males within the youth group. However, he's never had a very good relationship with his earthly father. His father has had anger issues(yelling, no hitting), but has overcome them for the most part. He and his father have never really had a relationship. His father is much closer to his two younger sisters. He's been struggling with SSA since the 7-8th grade, but just recently told me and another friend about it. He also told one of our youth leaders, his mentor and the youth pastor at our church. He's my best friend, we've known each other for almost 8 years, we're extremely close. We had talked about dating(I'm a female, btw) before I had known about his struggle with SSA and he said he had wanted to date, but wasn't ready(his SSA being the issue). He had a lot of fear in telling me, but he finally did and it's definitely made our relationship stronger. He has a male mentor that he see's occasionally, and says he IS attracted to me, but also has an attraction to males. He does want to get married and he does want children. He has never been in a relationship with another male before, nor has he been sexual with a male or female. We both know it's going to be a hard ride, but we want it to work and are willing to do whatever it is we have to do, no matter how hard the ride may be. With God anything is possible, and I strongly believe that. Is there anything I can do for him as a woman, his best friend and girl friend? Do you have any advice for him or I? Also, please just pray for him and for our relationship(with each other and with God).

7seeker

I may have to question "a very strong Christian home" with a distant and demeaning father but I pray the Lord give you both vision and understanding in what you should do. As for advice I would say don't rush in to a physical relationship while he is in such a state of indecision. Finishing high school trying to figure out who he is and where his life is headed. Be a very good friend and know that God has a plan for both of you that is good and filled with hope and a vital future.

alex13

Just let him be him. love him for who he is. that is what my boyfriend is doing for me. i am a girl that is bi and that is just who i am and there is nothing that could change that about me. just because he like the other same sex too does not mean that he does not truly love you. he is who he is. i pray that you two can make in your relationship with both each other and with God.

paulg1

Best for you to be content being a friend and nothing more at this stage perhaps things will change perhaps not, best is not to spoil a good relationship for a bad one, if it isn't spoiled already. I would be weary, because from what you have said there isn't a lot of clarity in the intentions. Until there isn't an extremely clear road ahead with more than just words to back it up, I wouldn't change from a friendship and I would guard my heart against any more experimentational issues or thoughts of this sort. Having an attraction doesn't mean that there is any sort of commitment and this goes both sides of the argument. When in doubt focus on God and wait be patient for an answer. Tell him that same sex attraction has no purpose and God does not make us purposeless, God does not feed us and clothe us and protect us so that we can use what we have been given to our own selfish pleasures.

God is Almighty

stwy2zeppelin

@sophia, I understand your friend. I have never had a sexual experience with a male or female, and I am attracted to males.

I do recommend that a relationship with your friend not be acted upon. If he is confused, it is best to let him discover what God wants him to be. I would understand fully if you said that you loved him. I have been in this type of situation with a friend. But when something is not working, then it means that it's either not God's time for it, or it's not God's plan for it. Have faith that God has the perfect plan for your life and for his. God definitely does, because He loves you more than any man will love you. :)

I would advise you to talk to your friend about this: that sexual attraction is unimportant, that to God, sexuality is not of the utmost importance. What matters it that he loves God, and that he welcomes God into his life. Also, advise him that prayer is very powerful, and that he must always pray to God. This does not necessarily mean, "God, forgive me." It can be more than that; it can be conversation with God, because God is a best, best, best, best friend.

I am not going to say that your friend can change his attraction. What I want to say, however, is that as long as he loves somebody with all of his heart - in a way that goes beyond sexual intimacy (for that is the way true, romantic love is) - he, I believe, is not committing a sin. True love is true love, and it is uncontrollable sometimes. However, mere sexual attraction and lust is an exploitation, and it is controllable.

I pray that you, sophia, and your friend will discover how much God truly loves you. I pray that you will discover that God is most definitely your best friend, and that He is there to hear your prayers. I pray that God blesses you always, and that the Truth, Jesus, and the truth of the situation will set you free.

Howdy, Stranger!

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